Monday, May 14, 2007

God's Love

I read Psalm 18 and Habakkuk 3:17-19 and have cried and cried. My God loves so much. Even when I can't see evidence of that love, I know it is there based on our history together. Because time after time He has brought me through pain and fear. But sometimes I couldn't see it until I looked back later. It's true that we go through the Valley of Baca in tears, but we come back rejoicing! He truly is a faithful Father. Thank you, my God, for your Word. How I love you, Lord! How grateful I am to you. My Fortress! My Rock! My Deliverer! You have blessed me so much! I have no words to thank you enough.

Deepest love--where I truly live.
Comfort for my broken heart.
Healing old wounds. Love fills the cracks.
Fallen walls restored. This house will stand.
The Lord is its builder. Jesus Christ, it's foundation.
Love is its mortar.

Habakkuk 3:17-19
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.


Anonymous said...


I experienced what I believe was my first panic attack on Monday. I was scheduled to go to my OBGYN to get some results about my high cholesteral and had to ask my husband to drive me back home when I began to feel my heart beating faster faster. I felt like I was having a heart attack and immediatly got into the shower to calm me down. It took like forever to find a little peace. Talking it over with my husband, sister, and mother has helped me but I still feel a bit jittery. They encouraged me to make an appointment with a family Doctor. I have my appointment in about an hour and a half and am nervous about it since it was going to the Dr. that I experienced this. I have had some anxiety before but I have always been able to breathe deeply and with a small prayer it has gone away. I'm scared that the Dr. Might want to put me on some type of medication but am so afraid of getting another episode like the one I had on Monday, that I am almost willing to do anything that will prevent it from happening again. I was raised in church, met my husband in church but have not been attending since we got married which was 10 years ago! I feel horrible that now that I am expiriencing this I am searching for HIM but I know that God is Love. I am a stay at home mom and my baby has just started school full time. I guess I have been feeling lonely and had not even noticed it. I also, started drinking coffee these past few weeks and I read that caffeine can increase anxiety. I'm hoping that's part of the problem. I also havent been able to eat much for fear that it will make me sick. I liked the advise you gave about asking God to bless your food before you eat. What is the name of the devotional that you could recommend me? Thank you and God bless.

Joni said...

Believing God devotional by Beth Moore. Also, meditate on Psalm 121, Isaiah 63:1-4, Psalm 107, Psalm 139, and Psalm 91. These are wonderful passages that will help you, but read them slowly and think about the words. Most of the time we read too quickly. God's Word needs to be read thoughtfully and repeatedly so it can soak into our minds, hearts, and souls. Most of all remember that God has never left you. He is with you and has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. (Isaiah 54:10) :)

Kristy said...

Joni I have been expierencing really bad anxiety so much its making my chest hurt and feel so weak. I honestly check my pulse all the time because I feel like I'm dying all the time. Its the worst feeling ever! I've been trying to do this with just prayer but its been really hard... how do u feel about medication and is there anything u would recommend. Please help! Its weird I'm happy in my life but physically I'll because I think I have something doctors can't find and I'm going to die

Joni said...

Hi, Kristy,
I am taking alprazolam now and took it when I was first diagnosed with panic disorder back in 2002. I take it as needed. I am medication-sensitive and could not tolerate the anti-depressants which are also great for panic attacks. I tried them ten years ago, and just recently have tried Pristiq and Celexa. But I just can't tolerate the side effects.

I believe in taking medication if you can and continuing in prayer and a close relationship with the Lord. I take medicine every day for hypothyroidism and high blood pressure, so I see no problem with taking medicine if you need it.

Let the doctors do what they can do to help you, and let the Lord do what He can do. It doesn't have to be either/or. :)

Hope you find relief soon.

Your sister in Christ,

kristy said...

Thank u !! R there any side affects with that?? Can u work and take it? Is that the same as xanex

Joni said...

Yes, it's the same as Xanax but cheaper. I started with 1/2 of .25mg when I first began taking it and was working at the time. I can now take the full .25 mg three times a day without side effects. Drowsiness/sleepiness was the only side effect I experienced. Talk with your doctor and maybe begin taking it on a day your off so you can see how it affects you.

Anne said...

As I search for bible verses to relieve my fears of enclosed places( church,mall) am afraid I couldn't breathe. The Lord led me to read different testimonies that could uplift my spirit. Im asking the Lord if what I'm experiencing is for real or its just me creating in my mind? Pls include me on your prayers. God bless

Joni said...

Anne, I hope this post might be of some help you, too.

Anonymous said...

Hello Joni,
My name is Wendy. Thank you so much for being so honest and transparent on your blog. It has helped me greatly. I started having panic attacks in June but at first I didn't know it was a panic attack. The palpitations were the most pronounced part of it. At one point it got so bad I was afraid to go in my basement because that's where I had several attacks. I have since been able to conquer several triggers thanks be to God for His word. During my worst season I became magnesium deficient and had a host of other symptoms. It was the scariest time of my life!! I literally thought I was loosing my mind!! Over the past few months I have corrected my mineral deficiencies, eating better and on time, exercising and getting a full night's rest. I feel like anxiety changes your body chemistry forever, especially in my case where as soon as I recovered from one trigger my mind created another. As of now, I find that I get a tight feeling in my chest when I am stressed and anxious. I did a heart ultrasound and 2week holter monitor so my heart is structurally sound.
I don't have a lot of people who understand what I'm going through and so I wanted to ask you do you ever get chest pains or hyperventilating?

Joni said...

Hi, Wendy. Yes, I began experiencing chest pains while taking care of my elderly parents in 2011. When I took one of my alprazalom pills, the pain would go away. Both my parents went home to be with the Lord--my mother in Sept. 2011 and my dad in March 2012. The fall of 2012 the pain in my chest was severe enough that I went to my husband's cardiologist and did the nuclear treadmill test. Also had an EKG, ultrasound, and ANSAR test. Everything came back normal. It was anxiety/stress causing the pain. So my primary physician upped the amount of alprazalom I was taking and that took care of it.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your quick reply! I have one quick last question, have you ever seen a Naturopathic doctor or used any natural supplements or therapies? I am a homeschooler of 3 little boys and I am concerned about side effects of medication (sleepiness, etc.). Thank you for your precious time.

Joni said...

No, I have hypothyroidism. Also, medication sensitive. Had to start out halving the lowest dose of sedative. Still can't take but the smallest amount three to four times a day.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, you are a blessing. :-)

GAAP said...

Your story is so touching. Because today is my first day back from darkness and pure hell. I have been there before, i habe prayed religiously for the past two months. All of sudden, I feel normal again. This is the power of God and his mercy upon us. I tried a sample pack of viibryd but my body did not react good to it but i am claiming today as my first victory. Praise his holy name. Fight back!!!