Thursday, June 26, 2008
It seems like for the past 7 months, just when I weather through a storm with Jesus, another one crops up. In November and December, it was arthritis in my back and I practically lived on the heating pad on the couch. Then in Easter it was my knees and I had to stay off of them for 3 weeks. After about a week of my knees being better, I came down with a sinus infection and was really sick for about a week. Three weeks ago, on the first day out of the house since being sick, I was in a car accident. It was my fault. I didn't see the other car while switching lanes. No one was hurt, but if God had not intervened, the accident could have been much worse. However, since then, I've been seeing my sideview mirror explode in my mind at odd moments(which is what happened in the accident--we hit mirrors and the sides of our cars and bounced off each other.) I had to leave my car in the shop and had an older truck I was going to drive while it was being fixed, but the truck went on the blink, and after 3 trips to the shop, we finally got it working again. During all that time I had to depend on my dad who is 86 to drive my husband and I to and from the body shop, and to take my husband to work and back every day. My dad was beginning to show wear and tear, bless his heart, and I was concerned. Then last Saturday I had to drive to a city an hour and a half away (my husband has an eye disease and is legally blind so I do all the driving) and was surprised to find myself anxious while on the road. I prayed all the way there and back. After we got home, I began trembling inside and I knew my stress level had been maxed! I took a xanax that night because I couldn't sleep and I had to teach S. S. the next morning. I had prayed my verses but my mind was numb--a sure sign I needed help. It was the first xanax I'd had in over 2 years. The next day I took a half of one and felt mentally stronger so that I didn't need the other half that night. Then menopause-induced insomnia started up because I haven't worked up to vigorous exercise since my back and knee injuries, and when I don't sleep after a few days, I get that internal vibrating feeling. I've been getting up and praying my verses each night for the past two nights and the vibrating feeling has left. Praise God! This morning I told myself that my God is stronger than anything I have to face and I was putting all of my faith in Him. No vibrating today! Hallelujah!