Thursday, February 19, 2009

Agoraphobia

Someone asked me what really helped me fight my agoraphobia and I thought I'd post my answer here. Striving to keep a God-awareness no matter where I went helped me the most. I did this by carrying 3x5 cards with me with the verses I posted on this blog written on them. I reviewed them every day and night and while driving I tried to recite each one from memory. Sometimes I just recited the 5 statement pledge of faith from the Believing God Bible study by Beth Moore. Sometimes while driving now I try to keep a visual in my head of the pillar of cloud that guided the Israelites by day during their 40 year stint in the desert. I remind myself that God goes before me and after me, just like He did for the Israelites because I am His child too. And His treasured possession, just like they were. Keeping a God-awareness also means I try to take time out of my day to just sit and meditate on God's greatness, grace, mercy, and love. God wants us to think about Him alot. "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy MIND, and with all thy strength." Also, He wants us to remember all that He's done for us. Just today I was outside and I thanked God for the time He gave me a double rainbow right when I truly was in a crisis of identity. I also remembered the time (May 2007) when I was outside with my camera thanking Him for all the beautiful birds He had brought to my yard and allowed me to photograph when a flock of cedar waxwings suddenly appeared on the horizon--each yellow tummy looking like bobbing pots of gold--and landed in my sycamore tree just 5 feet in front of me. (See below!) Glorious times! I'm smiling now just remembering His gracious love and watch-care over me.


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