Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Empty

From Set Apart Bible study by Jennifer K. Dean: "Nothing is harder for our flesh than to come (to God) empty-handed, needy, and weak. To be stripped bare, emptied out, impotent, exposed--it is the secret fear we all harbor. It is the stuff of nightmares and anxiety attacks. And it is the kingdom's requirement for citizenship." (2 Corin. 12:9-10) My weakness is my greatest asset in the kingdom. My weakness is where Christ's power is most clearly displayed in me. Only when I am confronted with my own helplessness can I experience the power of Christ in me."


I used to think God expected me to be strong all the time. That's the perfectionist and the legalist in me. These past few months, I've condemned myself for not being stronger in spirit. What I'm learning in this Bible study and in Scripture is that no one can be strong all the time. What a relief to be able to admit I am weak to a God who understands and knows that I need the filling of His Holy Spirit. I have been feeling emptied out, worn out, and stressed out these past several months. So I'm drawing nearer to God and praying every day for His Spirit's filling, and I'm trying to take every negative thought captive to Christ. I'm trying to keep my mind just on "today" and not dwelling on what may or may not lie ahead. And I know every time I feel any strength or compassion or grace or love, it's a gift from God. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 I am also praying my Scriptures again and my mind is reaping the benefits of dwelling on the fact that Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog, and like everyone else who's comments I've read, I want to thank you and share my story and tell you how much you've helped me.
I've had a mild anxiety disorder for about a year now, and I always felt weak for not being able to control how I feel. I feel like I need to be strong all the time. Recently I have also been through a major traumatic event and I have been having nightmares about it almost every night. Last night was especially awful and I was trying to describe what I felt to my fiance much the same as some of what you said here. I felt weak, empty. At one point I even told him I'd rather die than continue to re-live that every night. He found this blog and reading the scripture here has given me new strength.
Thank you.

Joni said...

It's so important to let yourself be real before God. Being real means bringing yourself as you truly are--helpless, needy, and weak--to God's throne of grace. You can come just as you are to your heavenly Father, and He will not turn you away. You will find strength by falling on His grace and mercy. Also, get into His Word and feed your starving soul. the Scriptures I've posted in "Bible Verses for Overcoming Fear, Anxiety, and Depression always feed my spirit and soul. You may want to try reading them daily. May God bless you with His forgiveness, grace, and peace as you lean on Him. He will sustain you and make a way for you.

Your sister in Christ,
Joni