From Set Apart Bible study by Jennifer K. Dean: "Nothing is harder for our flesh than to come (to God) empty-handed, needy, and weak. To be stripped bare, emptied out, impotent, exposed--it is the secret fear we all harbor. It is the stuff of nightmares and anxiety attacks. And it is the kingdom's requirement for citizenship." (2 Corin. 12:9-10) My weakness is my greatest asset in the kingdom. My weakness is where Christ's power is most clearly displayed in me. Only when I am confronted with my own helplessness can I experience the power of Christ in me."
I used to think God expected me to be strong all the time. That's the perfectionist and the legalist in me. These past few months, I've condemned myself for not being stronger in spirit. What I'm learning in this Bible study and in Scripture is that no one can be strong all the time. What a relief to be able to admit I am weak to a God who understands and knows that I need the filling of His Holy Spirit. I have been feeling emptied out, worn out, and stressed out these past several months. So I'm drawing nearer to God and praying every day for His Spirit's filling, and I'm trying to take every negative thought captive to Christ. I'm trying to keep my mind just on "today" and not dwelling on what may or may not lie ahead. And I know every time I feel any strength or compassion or grace or love, it's a gift from God. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17 I am also praying my Scriptures again and my mind is reaping the benefits of dwelling on the fact that Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."