I have really been leaning on the Lord in this season of my life. In the mornings I open my eyes and pray for strength to get up and going one more day--and He supplies. I give you praise, Lord. Mental stress is so much more tiring than physical stress, isn't it?
I do a daily mental dance with my mother to keep her pacified and willing to stay in the nursing home until her physical therapy is done and she regains her balance. She wants to go home in a really bad way. She needs to stay at least five more days. Her short-term memory loss causes her to ask the same questions and go over old ground regarding her stroke, what happened, how long she's been in the nursing home, why can't she go home, etc. It hurts my heart. My emotions are worn down by the time I end my 6-hour stay, and my sister comes to relieve me.
Today my youngest and his wife drove 2 hours to come for a short visit. My oldest had just finished a set of work days and was able to visit with Mother as well. I love having my family around me. My husband and I and our sons and daughter-in-love went out to eat after my "shift" with Mother was over. I sat there listening to the conversations and I suddenly realized I didn't have to be responsible for anyone there, and a sense of relief and gratitude washed over me--so much so that I blinked back tears.
I know that God gave me this gift of family togetherness, and I prayed my thanks to Him tonight. I love Him so because He loves me so.
"I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the LORD,the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber. Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep. The LORD protects you; the LORD is a shelter right by your side. The sun will not strike you by day,or the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all harm;He will protect your life. The LORD will protect your coming and going both now and forever."
(The Holman Christian Bible; Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville Tennessee. All rights reserved.)
The Hebrew word that translates "protect" in English can also be translated as "keeps" (NASB, KJV Bible) and "watches" (NIV Bible). Whichever way it translates, it means the same thing to me--security, comfort, belonging, commitment, love. All from God, our heavenly Father in Christ Jesus. I am so glad, especially on days like today, that God loves me, cares for me, watches over me. He meets the deepest needs of my heart--even when it's to be surrounded and supported by my family. How I love Him!