Psalm 31:14-17a (NIV84)
But I trust in you, Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, Lord,
for I have cried out to you;
God is in control of all of our circumstances. If we don't believe that, we'll have a hard time trusting God. David had a history of believing God. He knew what He could do. So he cried out to the Lord for help when he found himself in trouble. My Life Application Bible says, "Knowing that God loves and cares for us enables us to keep steady in our faith regardless of our circumstances."
You have to know that God loves you and cares for you. I learned this through my struggle with panic attacks, and I'm learning it all over again, as He calms me down and helps me get through this new season of anxiety. Slowing down, spending more alone-time with Jesus always calms me and helps orient my thinking so that I set my mind on things above and not on earthly things. I begin my day in prayer--my husband and I have discussed this, and he's agreed to allow me this time before asking me to do anything in the mornings. So I won't inconvenience him too much, I try to get up early so I can have at least two hours alone with God. I pour out my heart to Him, and then I slowly read the day's Bible passage, listening for His voice and what He might say to me. I'm working my way through the Gospels--one chapter at a time--and I'm looking to see what Jesus said and did because He is my example of how to live and walk in the Spirit. I'm staying home more and dropping meaningless activities. I'm staying in Bible study and am learning once more how faithful and loving my God is. I've been praying for whatever I lack--energy, sleep, help with my thinking patterns, etc. I'm beginning to sense His Presence daily.
I hope you will give Jesus the time and the space to get to know Him more. He is faithful. His love for you and me is unfailing. Surrendering my will to His will brings true peace and rest. I didn't want to have to battle anxiety again, but God has a higher purpose, and I'm trusting that as I surrender my circumstances and desires to Him, He will work all this out for my good. I know my faith is being purified and tested. My character is being developed. There are places in my heart that need healing. Praying His Word back to Him helps restore my soul. And while I step out in faith, I will sing Him praises, for He is worthy. If we live every day in gratitude for our salvation and for our blessings, in gratitude for all the Lord Jesus has given us, we will come out of our season of trial with showers of blessings and a more intimate walk with Jesus.