Monday, January 30, 2012

Praising God for Daddy's Recovery And My Own

Daddy has really been doing great this past week. My sister and I agreed that after Saturday night, he could stay by himself again. He is strong again thanks to God's faithfulness and the physical therapist that comes 3 times a week. My sister took over staying with him Friday night and Saturday night so my husband and I could rest. The changes in my thyroid levels keep me tired and more stressed than usual.

This morning I woke up after a fitful night's sleep, and the old vibrating in my veins began. It was not very strong, but strong enough for me to begin praying. I ignored the anxious feelings and concentrated on God's Word. And after praying and meditating on the verses that came to my mind as I sought help, the vibrating left! Praise you, Lord! Of course, the whole time I'm praying a part of me is thinking, "This isn't working. I still feel the anxiety," but I pushed those thoughts away and kept praying and leaning on God and His truth. God's Word is Truth. The verses I prayed this morning: "For God has said, 'Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?", "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Let not your heart be troubled and do not be afraid." "In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." "We are more than overcomers in Christ Jesus."

God's Word is our Sword of the Spirit. It is powerful to the pulling down of strongholds (according to Paul in 1 Corin. 10). God pulled down the stronghold of fear for me this morning! Hallelujah! Our God saves!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Scripture That's Helping Me

As my sister and I continue to take turns staying with Daddy while he recuperates from a fractured rib, I have been focusing on these Scriptures to keep me mentally, physically and spiritually strong. My stamina wanes quickly by the end of the day, and I continually need a fresh supply for each new day. I go to my Lord, and He has been faithful to me. All are NIV translation.

1 Cor. 1:8 "Who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ps. 55:22 Cast all your cares on the LORD, and he will sustain you.

Ps. 119:116 Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.

Is. 46:4 Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

I really love Isaiah 46:4--especially the words "...I have made you and I will carry you...rescue you." To me that means that it's okay I have trouble with anxiety and stress because I have a God who made me and who will carry me through these difficult days. He knows me better than I know myself, and He loves me without making me feel ashamed that I don't have it all together. He continually gives of Himself to me so that I can give of myself to others. I don't always give of myself willingly or unselfishly. Sometimes I gripe and complain...then I repent of my griping and complaining.

I'm learning that everything I face has been filtered through the hand of God in order to help me grow up in Christ Jesus. I have a lot of growing up to do. This has helped me mentally accept all that happens. And the best part is, if God has ordained this difficult season for me, then as I lean on Him, I will get to see Him at work in my life. He will see me through. Because God is not evil. In Him, there is no darkness at all, Scripture tells us. And He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5-6)

Because I've had to lean on Him and not my own resources, I feel closer to God today than I have in weeks. He is my Sustainer, my Rescuer, and my Deliverer. He is trustworthy, and His Word can be depended upon at all times. If at any time I think that His Word is not working in me or in my circumstances, then the fault is with me. His Word is perfect, and it leads to liberty. (James 1:25)

Friday, January 13, 2012

On Praying

Beth Moore asked a timely question on her blog asking for comments on what's working in our prayer lives. Here's the answer I wrote:

"I’m learning to not deny my feelings and to cry out to God whenever I’m overwhelmed and facing difficult circumstances…most recently caring for my dad who is 89 along with my husband who is legally blind. Because of abuse in my childhood, I have a history of holding in my emotions–just pushing them aside with a Bible verse and pressing on. But that no longer works. The pressures are too great. I’ve learned crying out to God relieves that pressure. I cry out and ask Him for His help and then I pray Scripture and tell Him I believe what that Scripture says and I’m counting on Him. I cannot tell you the relief that comes from that."

I'm putting my answer on my blog because I've been trying to blog about what God's been teaching me through my difficulties, and this seemed the perfect springboard.

My daddy has been struggling with poor circulation in his legs. Also a pretty bad fungus. Since December we've been working on getting his legs healthy--applying creams, antibiotics, wrapping them, etc. Just when they seemed to be getting better, they'd get bad again. This in addition to cooking, keeping up his laundry, doctor's appointments, etc. I also began having problems with my thyroid again and experiencing fatigue--an anxiety caused by the fatigue when I have so much to take care of. My doctor referred me to an endocrinologist (my appointment is in Feb.)--so all of this was working against me having enough energy and peace to deal with crises. I've been praying earnestly every day and God has provided just enough energy for each day. I'm learning to lean on Him one day at a time once more.

This past Tuesday morning, Daddy fell and cracked a rib. My husband and I spent from 11:20 am to 7pm in the Emergency Room at a local hospital. They refused to admit him despite his age, circulation problems, and history of heart problems. They gave us instructions and we came back home. My brother-in-law offered to spend the night with Daddy. The next day my husband and I took Daddy to his cardiologist, who said his blood test showed his potassium was too high and blood sugars as well. He adjusted some medications and told us how to adjust his diet. We returned home and I spent the night with Daddy last night. We did not get much sleep at all. He was in alot of pain. I prayed all night because of feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed, knowing my husband who is legally blind was home without me.

The next morning at 8 am my brother-in-law showed up to relieve me. I came home and slept five hours. Then began making phone calls to cancel the colonoscopy Daddy had been scheduled for next week, as well as other appointments. Then I made supper to take over to Daddy's, and it was while making supper that I suddenly felt I just couldn't do any more. I cried out to God to take this anxiety and feelings of helplessness from me and I began praying Scripture from memory about not being alone, about God's promise to be with me when I passed through the waters and when I passed through the rivers, they would not overflow me--when I passed through the fire I would not be burned because He was my God, the Holy One of Israel, who loved me, thought I was precious, and honored me. (Isaiah 43). I felt such a release after praying that, and also "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I took supper over to my daddy's and my sister was there to spend the night with him. The Home Health nurse had come and said Daddy's legs had stopped "weeping" and she was impressed that they looked as good as they did. Praise God! He is worthy of all praise! My sister and her husband will take Daddy to the wound care center next Monday, since she will be off work for the MLK holiday, so I won't have to do that.

God has lifted my burdens and my anxiety! He's given me a chance to rest. He is my faithful Champion! I love Him so!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Random Thoughts

Jan. 25, 2011

Random Thoughts

Jesus saved me from my sins, my guilt, my shame. He has forgiven me so much. All of my rebellion, anger, unbelief. Because of Christ, I can see the beauty and light of life when I set my mind and my heart on Him. I can think differently. The way I approach life can be different. I don’t have to give in to a victim attitude.

Because of what Jesus did for me in 2005, I lost my fear of the dark and the world outside my home. I lost my fear of people. I felt free from self-condemnation and from being a people-pleaser. The Lord was my Rock and my safe place. He renewed my mind and led me out of depression and despair. He stopped my panic attacks with His Word, and by cooperating and participating in using His Word as my Sword, I felt as though He and I were in this thing together--which I knew we were in my head and in my heart, but I actually felt it as I acted in faith. I felt like I was partnering with Him, and I was, against the evil one and his domain.

I learned that Jesus freed me from sin’s dominion, and the power of the evil one. God gave me joy again as I lived in forgiveness and trust in Him. He enabled me to love my family and friends freely and not to be afraid of rejection. God gave me a deep-seated joy and peace. I had a confidence in His being with me and watching over me. I knew who I was, His child, and I felt I was significant to Him, and that my life had purpose. I felt His love for me, and I heard His voice inside me--a gentle loving voice. Jesus has never stopped loving me, even though I have not always been faithful in return.

What did I do in those days of feeling He was with me always? Because I was alone in my house--my children flown from the nest and my husband at work--I was in His Word doing Bible studies four hours a day--from 8 am to 12 pm. I sang His praises every day. I meditated on and memorized His Word. I prayed Scripture over my challenges. I surrendered my heart and mind and every problem to Him every morning and asked for forgiveness of my sins and then for the Spirit’s filling. On my knees, I sat and waited silently for Him. I listened to Christian music and kept a daily quiet time. I refused to watch TV as much and I read Christian books. I thought of Him often and was very grateful to Him. I asked Him to show up during my day and I looked for Him. And I saw Him in marvelous ways. I felt I was in the world but not of the world. I listened with my mind for the Lord’s voice. I expected Jesus to speak to me (John 10:27) and to show me great and marvelous things based on Jeremiah 33:3. I believed God’s Word and spoke affirmations of my faith from Ephesians 1--I am accepted, adopted, blessed, chosen, forgiven, loved, redeemed, sealed. I held up my shield of faith (from Beth Moore’s Believing God) and repeated it out loud almost daily but especially when negative thoughts came to me--God is Who He says He is, God can do what He says He can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ, God’s Word is alive and active in me. I’m believing God! I believed that I was “God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us (me) to do.” (Eph. 2:10)

Even though I can no longer devote extended periods of time to Bible study every single day, God still sustains me. He still speaks to me through His Word in my quiet time in the mornings with Him. I listen to Christian music as I walk on the treadmill, and I still read nonfiction and fiction Christian books. I don’t watch TV except sports with my husband, and we’ve bought and watched several dvd series on the Bible and the history of Israel. I also have past TV series of Murder She Wrote, Columbo, and others on dvd and we watch those.

Since my mother’s passing, I haven’t sung much, but I found myself singing a hymn this past week, and it made me smile. When I sing as I do my housework or cook, I know I‘m happy. It’s something I just do without thinking. When I wake up in the morning and catch myself in mid-chorus of a Christian song, it just makes my whole day because I know that my heart, mind, soul, and body were in unity with the Lord even as I slept. Or maybe it’s the Holy Spirit singing!

One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17--”The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." I need to write this down on a 3x5 to keep it with me today. We need to encourage ourselves with God’s Word. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t had God’s Word to encourage me and help me. God’s Word IS the greater reality because His Word is truth and life.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Fearful or Fearless in 2012

I pray that this year will find us meditating on Scripture verses that teach us not to be afraid or anxious but to trust in the Lord. I'm posting the ones I used to defeat my panic attacks below, but you can go here and read a "fear not" verse of the day.

You can also go here and read about the book, Fearful to Fearless which is where the "fear not" verse of the day comes from. I've just downloaded the book to my Kindle and cannot wait to start reading these devotionals.

FROM PREVIOUS POST: BIBLE VERSES FOR ANXIETY, PANIC, AND DEPRESSION--
Scripture changed my thought-life, my prayer-life, my relationship with God, gave me courage, and helped me see that my panic, depression, and anxiety were not stronger than my God! I read the verses below daily and on anxious days I also read them just before bed. God's Word is alive and active and when spoken out loud--powerful. (Hebrews 4:12) Months after reading these verses, I started praying them out loud to God during panic attacks, and the panic left, and God's peace flooded in. The first time it took 20 minutes of praying (through my fear and through tears) before the fear left. The second time it took about 10 minutes, and the next time it took all of one verse prayed out loud before the fear left! Praise God! Sometimes when I needed extra encouragement I'd read these verses and insert my name in them to make them more personal. I do that in the first verse as an example.

I should also mention that I didn't just read and pray these verses. I also spent time doing Bible studies by Beth Moore, ( also read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind, and other Christian authors, such as Kay Arthur) to learn more about Jesus and how to love Him with my mind, and I took time out of every day to spend worshiping God and sitting before Him in humility and silence. I surrendered my will to Him in everything--even panic. I turned my life over to Jesus and stopped trying to make things happen my way. I forgave people who had hurt me and I confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness every day. He began to show me how much He loved me through blessings and answered prayer. I believe any trial we go through, we need to go through it humbly and honestly with Jesus and not just by quoting or praying Scripture by rote.

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not; for I am with thee, Joni: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

Isaiah 41:13 "For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Isaiah 43:1-4 "Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour....Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee...."

Joshua 1:5-7,9 "As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Be strong and of a good courage....Only be thou strong and very courageous..Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.".

Psalm 107:13-16 "Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder.
Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
For he hath broken the gates of brass, and cut the bars of iron in sunder."

Phillipians 4:6-7 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Psalm 91: 1-2, 4-6 "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday."

Psalm 91: 14-16 "Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation."

Isaiah 54:10 "For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee."

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Proverbs 1:33 "But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all you anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee."

Romans 8:6 "For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace."

Isaiah 59:19 "When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him."

Ephesians 2:14 "For he is our peace."

Isaiah 51:12-15 "I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass; And forgettest the LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor....But I am the LORD thy God, that divided the sea, whose waves roared: The LORD of hosts is his name.

Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing."

Ephesians 6:10-11 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Proverbs 2:7-8 He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones. (New International Version)

Hebrews 13:5-6 God has said, "Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." (New International Version)

2 Peter 1:3-4 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises.... (New International Version)

Isaiah 30:18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him. (New International Version)

Psalm 34:4: "I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears." (New International Version)

I just found this one and decided to add it--

Romans 16:20: "And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen."


Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

January 1, 2012

January 1, 2012

It’s a New Year! A time of new beginnings…. I sat with the Lord in my quiet time this morning, and I told Him I wanted 2012 to be the year where I actually abide in Him and in His love every day for the rest of my days. I want to be surrounded by Him and not by fear, anxiety, and doubt. Not by negative thoughts and emotions--my own or someone else‘s or those fed by the media.

God told Abraham not to fear, that He was his Shield, his very great Reward. (Gen. 15:1) In Bible times a shield was so large a soldier could hide behind it. That’s the picture I want to keep in my mind daily. The Psalms speak of God as our shield: “My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart.“ (Ps. 7:10); “But You are a shield around me, O LORD…(Ps. 3:3) “For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; You surround them with Your favor as with a shield.“ (Ps. 5:12)

I looked up “surround” in The Strongest NIV Exhaustive Concordance and came up with these:

Psalm 32:7 “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

Psalm 32:10 “The LORD’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him.”

The word “trusts” in the above verse reminded me of my Theme verse for 2012: “Trust in the LORD with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” (Pro. 3:5-6) I also remembered, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.” (Ps. 91:1-2)

I believe these are great verses to meditate on this month and will give me a good beginning as I turn my ears and my heart to God and His Word. I want to abide in His unfailing love and not let other things overwhelm me. I’ve written these verses down on 3x5s so I can review them and pray them daily. It’s the only way my mind can be continually renewed. Jesus said in the book of John, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you….” This is what I want…this is my priority goal for 2012--abiding in Him and His Word abiding in me. Then I will truly be surrounded by Him.