Cast All Your Anxiety on Him

"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset--rooted, established, strong, immovable, and determined], knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the dominion (power, authority, rule) forever and ever. Amen (so be it)." 1 Peter 5:7-11 (Amplified)

The word for "cast" in verse 7 is the same word used in Luke 19:35:"And they brought him to Jesus; and they cast their garments upon the colt, and they sat Jesus thereon." It's the same word used in Psalm 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." The word means " to cast away, throw down, throw out; is used of throwing an object." (The Key Word Study Bible)

Since learning about this word, I've been picturing myself holding a huge fishing net with all my worries and anxieties attached to it and then throwing it out to Jesus. I don't have to watch and see if He catches it. I just fling it out there. I know that I can trust Him to take care of it all.

The Bible Knowledge Commentary had this to say, "All a believer's anxieties can be cast...on Him. Christ sustains because He cares. A Christian's confidence rests in the fact that Christ is genuinely concerned for his welfare."

"He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." Jesus' love for us is full of affection. And the Lord is always watching. We are never alone.

Christ is Our Life!

"How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your ...light we see light." Psalm 36:5-9 (NIV)

"Why does God allow us to spend so much of life in the heat of battle? Because He never meant for us to sip His Spirit like a proper cup of tea. He meant for us to hold our sweating heads over the fountain and lap up His life with unquenchable thirst." Beth Moore, Praying God's Word

I totally agree with Beth. It seems I can't be away from the Word of God for even one day. Battles flare up everywhere. I stay thirsty for His Spirit. I require Him as much as I require daily bread--and the damage I do when I'm not filled...I just thank God that He forgives my sins and lets me try again. "His mercies are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness." (Lam. 3:23)

God's Truth

Micah 7:8 "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light."

I love the courage, confidence, and hope in these verses. I found this Scripture while experiencing panic attacks in 2005. Speaking the truth of these words out loud after a panic attack empowered me when I felt powerless or was tempted to give up hope that my attacks would ever stop. After I discovered that I could stop my panic attacks by praying Scripture during them, I realized even more the importance of speaking God's Truth in the face of fear. I used to think that if I just believed enough or hoped enough that nothing would go wrong in my life. Not true. What is true is that as long as I cling to Jesus, bow the knee to His sovereignty, and cooperate with Him, then He will bring me out of my difficulties with a surer knowledge of His presence in me, His love for me, and His mighty power available for me. With Him, I come out of my trials with much more than I had going into them. Praise the Lord!

Finding Freedom from Your Fears

Someone commented on one of my posts that they had read Finding Freedom from Your Fears by H. Norman Wright, so I thought I'd buy it and read it. It came in the mail this afternoon and already I have found something to share here.

"During your most intense bouts with fear, allow your mind to operate like an echo chamber. Instead of letting your fears reverberate within that chamber, let the words of Scripture continually echo--'fear not...fear not...fear not.'"

Recalling Scripture is like washing your mind with fresh faith and cleansing it from fear. I take my Scriptures like Isaiah 43:1-4 and Isaiah 41:10, as well as others, with me wherever I go. I have discovered that I still need them even though my last panic attack was in 2006. I praise God that I need His Word. My mind has been changed by it, my personality has been strengthened by it, and my life is worth living because of it.

God Rejoices Over Us

"The LORD your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will bring [you] quietness with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17 (HCSB)

"God rejoices over you, though He knows your life is still in the process of becoming all that He has planned--though you are not yet what you will be when you step into His eternal presence. Until that time, He is shaping your life, conforming you to the image of His Son. Amid the uncertainty and pressures surrounding you, Jesus is at your side to strengthen and encourage you." Charles Stanley, Living the Extraordinary Life

P.S. I like the vision I get when I read that God is "a warrior who saves". Reminds me of Psalm 107:16 which says that God "breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron". To me that means that Jesus will stop at nothing to free us from spiritual bondage or captivity when we cry out to Him for forgiveness, restoration, and help.

To Know Him

"Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." John 17:3 (NIV) "God is a person, and in the deep of His mighty nature He thinks, wills, enjoys, feels, loves, desires and suffers as any other person may. He communicates with us through the avenues of our minds, our wills and our emotions. The continuous and unembarrassed interchange of love and thought between God and the soul of the redeemed man is the throbbing heart of New Testament religion....The moment the Spirit has quickened us to life in regeneration our whole being senses its kinship to God." A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

"I Am" Statements

"Who I am and what I struggle with are not the same thing." (Jennifer Rothschild) Here are some "I am" statements mentioned in Believing God and Jennifer's study, Me, Myself, & Lies, to counter your negative self-talk.

I am accepted, adopted, blessed, chosen, forgiven, loved, redeemed, and sealed in Christ. (Eph 1:3-14) I am free (Rom. 6:18; 8:1). I am capable (Phil. 4:13). I am spiritually alive (Eph. 2:5). I am God's masterpiece (workmanship) (Eph. 2:10). I am welcome in God's presence (Eph. 2:18; Heb. 4:14-16). I am sheltered and protected in God (Col. 3:3; Ps. 91:1). I am precious to God (Is. 43:4). I am dearly loved (Col. 3:12). I am being transformed (2 Cor. 3:18). I am an heir of God (Rom. 8:17). I am God's delight (Zeph. 3:17). I am welcomed to draw near to God (Eph. 3:12). I am a member of God's family (1 John 3:1-2; Eph. 2:19). I am valuable toGod (1 Cor. 6:20). I am forgiven (Eph. 1:7-8). I am chosen to be fruitful (John 15:16).

Zephaniah 3:17

“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

Do these verses sound too good to be true? I remember thinking that when I first discovered them. God is too wonderful, I thought. I don’t deserve any of this. There must be a catch. Five years later, I’ve yet to find it. There is no risk in giving all of your heart to Jesus. He already knows you intimately. He knows your fears, your insecurities, your self-centeredness, your selfishness, your anger, your frustrations, your doubts, your regrets. Nothing about you shocks Him or causes Him to despise you. He loves you, and His love is perfect and complete. He is ever ready to help you overcome the Enemy. He is “with you”. He is your Champion and Defender. He is “mighty to save”. I need a champion who is “mighty”! How ‘bout you?

Can you imagine Jesus taking delight in you? As hard as it is for me to comprehend that He delights in me, His Word says it is true. When I allow myself to agree with His Word, I cannot help but smile. To me, “taking delight in” means that Jesus likes to be around me. He wants me to be near Him. He laughs when I’m funny. He listens when I tell Him my innermost thoughts and feelings. He supports and comforts me when I’m sick or hurt, and He instructs me in the error of my ways so I can be free from destructive thoughts and impure motives.

He delights in me as a parent delights in His child. As His child who sometimes goes astray, He disciplines me to bring me back to Him. He protects and guards my spirit, soul and mind. If I turn to Him when I am upset or fearful, He will “quiet” me with “His love”. This love is strong and unconditional. It won’t diminish over time, and I cannot earn it, but I must open my heart and allow myself to receive it. During difficult times, if I will allow myself to concentrate on what His Word says and not on my doubts or fearful thoughts, His love comes through the Scriptures and into my heart.

Thinking about Jesus singing over me makes me smile, too. I think about the Disney movies where Prince Charming sings to his love. I wonder if the writers of fairy tales looked to the Prince of Peace and His characteristics to come up with their version of a prince. I wonder if they looked to the hope, restoration, and redemption of the Bible to come up with “and they lived happily ever after.”

To be sure, those in Christ Jesus will live happily ever after—and that’s no fairy tale. When I spend time with Jesus in His Word, in prayer, and in quiet solitude with my heart set on Him in praise and adoration, I know that I know that I know my God is real, strong, and loving . God is wonderful. I don’t deserve all He offers me in Christ Jesus. I never will. Praise be to God that I don’t have to earn it because of the redemptive work of Jesus on the cross. As soon as I confessed my sins and accepted Jesus into my heart, I became His very own and an heir to His kingdom. My Prince has come to me. And His name is Christ Jesus. It’s all about grace fueled by unconditional love. The unconditional, incomprehensible love of God.

Take Time To Be Holy

One of my favorite hymns is "Take Time to be Holy" by William D. Longstaff. I've sung it in church a thousand times since I was a girl, but it wasn't until recently that I realized that if I had just paid attention to the words in that hymn, I could've saved myself alot of grief, time, and money spent on books trying to discover how to have a relationship with God. It's all right here in the words of this hymn.

Take time to be holy, speak oft with thy Lord;
Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word.
Make friends of God’s children, help those who are weak,
Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy, the world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret, with Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy, let Him be thy Guide;
And run not before Him, whatever betide.
In joy or in sorrow, still follow the Lord,
And, looking to Jesus, still trust in His Word.

Take time to be holy, be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each motive beneath His control.
Thus led by His Spirit to fountains of love,
Thou soon shalt be fitted for service above.

http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Take_Time_to_Be_Holy/

March 26 (My 100th Post!)

The Lord gave me a reality check a few minutes ago. I was going to sing a sacrifice of praise to Him in the midst of some “heavy” stuff I’m dealing with, and the song He brought to mind for me to worship Him was not the one I preferred to sing. So instead I sang the second song that came to mind--after I fished for it. The doxology, “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow”. Short. I could manage that. As soon as I had finished singing it (in a dismal, self-pitying tone, I might add), I felt the compulsion to sing His first choice for me—“Great is Thy Faithfulness”. I decided God must really want me to sing it, so I went along. As soon as I’d sung the words “all I have needed Thy Hands hath provided,” they hit my heart--HARD. I had to stop singing and think about what they were saying.

All I have needed. I felt the truth of those words deep in my soul. God has always provided what I needed. Not always what I wanted--but what I needed. Needs like love, the assurance that I am Christ’s and He is mine, and peace of mind. Things like security, a home, a family, a church home, and friends. I felt so humbled that I immediately began thanking God for providing for me throughout all of my life--and most especially, these past few weeks that have been so hard on me emotionally and spiritually. I’d been focusing on what I didn’t have—desperate prayers not answered (yet), lives not changed (yet), works in me not finished (yet!!)--so much so that I hadn’t been giving God the glory for the things I do have by His grace.

So I’m thanking you again, my loving Father, publicly this time, for all the ways You’ve provided for me since the time I was born. Physical needs and spiritual needs. For the many trials you’ve brought me and my family through, for divine intervention in daily circumstances, for Your guidance and teaching, for Your Word that continually encourages me, for Your Spirit that constantly guards me. May I ever welcome the chance to sing, “Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.”

Putting All Areas of Thinking Under God’s Umbrella

After I searched the Bible and discovered so many verses that tell us not to fear or be afraid or anxious, I knew I needed to stop the fearful, worrisome and condemning thoughts in my head because that was what was causing my panic attacks, but I became worried about giving up all my worries and anxieties. They took up so much of my thought life that I began worrying about what I was going to think about if I didn’t have all those worrisome and anxious thoughts occupying my mind. Anybody know where I’m coming from? I was afraid of changing my way of thinking because it was all I knew. I wanted to change, but I was afraid of changing.

I was doing Bible studies at that time and came across Philippians 4:8 which states “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (NIV) In this particular Bible study I was doing, the author of the study said, “In other words, think about Jesus. Focus your attention on Him.” So I began to do that whenever I started into a cycle of negative thinking or remembering my mistakes in the past or those who had mistreated me or said hurtful things to me. Whenever I found myself engaged in imaginary conversations with people in my head (Anybody else do that?) I would stop it and begin thinking about Jesus and how much He loved me and that I could trust God to make things turn out right. I didn’t have to defend myself to myself.

I began to pray about everything that worried me or that made me anxious…even the fact that I was worried I wouldn’t be able to trust God and stop worrying after I prayed to Him. I soon learned that whenever my worries or anxieties returned—and they did because the cycle of negative thinking isn’t broken overnight--I didn’t have to feel self-condemnation. Instead, I could go to God again and pray to Him again until I felt peace returning.

So I began putting my new way of dealing with my life and my problems into practice. I threw myself into God’s Word so that my mind would be filled with His Truth about my problems and my life and so my thoughts would focus on His Son instead of on myself. I took every problem, fear, concern and worry to God in prayer. And God responded in awesome ways. Sometimes He flooded my soul with peace. Sometimes He flooded my heart with joy. Sometimes I felt so loved, and so unworthy of such unconditional love, that I sobbed. Sometimes I felt an awesome stillness inside me and all around me. Sometimes I just felt a burden lift from my heart and my mind. And sometimes I didn’t feel anything at all. I just knew He had heard me. And that alone made all the difference.

It’s been five years since I first discovered God’s way of breaking free of the stronghold of panic and anxiety disorders. My mind was held tightly in the grip of panic, and negative, anxious thoughts back then. Today I am living free from that prison in my mind. I’m staying outside that jail cell and keeping my thoughts controlled by applying God’s Truth to my circumstances. I still experience stress when I have too much to do—I’m still working on my perfectionist attitude—and when a crisis hits, I hit my knees and pray until I have peace. When my mother was in the hospital for 2 weeks last month, I didn’t always have time to be with the Lord in the mornings like I usually do, and it began to show. That last week my anxiety re-surfaced for a few days—mainly because my mother, bless her heart, is the most negative person I know when she has to stay in the hospital. Her anxiety was high, she said some hurtful things to me, and she wouldn’t cooperate with the nurses.

I learned something about myself during this time. I discovered that it’s one thing for me to know that God is greater than circumstances, but it’s truly frustrating for me when I can’t get a loved one to place their hope and trust in God right when they need it most. Mother put herself through so much, and because I love her, I sensed every bit of her anxiety and suffering. And my anxiety intensified. I began to fear she would not get well. And I began asking myself, “What is True? What do you know to be Truth?” And the answer came…that God is faithful, even when we are not. That He does not treat us as we deserve. That, in Christ Jesus, there was mercy and grace available for my mother. And that His perfect will was better than my will for her.

And God was gracious. He answered our prayers and Mother’s kidneys improved and she was able to come home.

So I’m still learning to put all areas of thinking under the umbrella of God’s Truth. The anxiety battle is fought and won in the mind. I thank God that He is a Mighty Warrior and that He is on my side. I’m not in this battle alone. “The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17) (NIV)

February 18, 2009

An Added Note: I forgot to say this in my post below and didn't want it to be left unsaid. I know that God does not always heal on this earth but sometimes chooses to bestow the ultimate healing in Heaven. If you've followed my blog for awhile, you know I've lost 2 dear friends to breast cancer within the space of a year and a half. So I have wrestled this thing out with God--what do I pray and how do I pray for others? I believe what I've gleaned is that God is very able to heal, and willing to heal, and I should pray for His healing in every circumstance believing that if He doesn't heal according to my prayer, I can still trust Him with the outcome. He knows so much more about the person and the situation and His plan and what He's accomplishing. God is not evil. There is no darkness in Him at all, as the Bible tells us. God is love. And His mercy endures forever!




I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.


I quoted the above and the rest of Psalm 121 to my mother Monday night as she was trying to go to sleep for the night. She’d been in the hospital for 2 weeks. A week ago, she had had a liter of fluid removed from the lining around her right lung, had been put on a salt-restricted diet, and had her medication changed. Three or four days later her kidneys went into shock, and we were told she was in kidney failure. Both the heart specialist and the kidney specialist agreed if her kidneys didn’t improve, she would need dialysis. Then Monday morning she had to have another liter of fluid removed, and a renal scan was scheduled for Tuesday.

Monday night, after quoting Psalm 121, I gently explained to Mother that the psalm meant that no matter what she had to face in this life, God would be with her and would never leave her. He would see her through. Then I read several verses about overcoming fear and anxiety and trusting in the Lord. These are the same verses I’ve posted in this blog. I keep them in my purse, and I pulled them out to try and help my mother (as well as myself) release pent-up stress. Then we both settled down to sleep—I was spending the night with her in the hospital room—but I as I lay there, I felt a strong compulsion that we needed to pray. I had not prayed with Mother since she had been admitted into the hospital, although my pastor, minister of music, and a few deacons had done so while visiting with her.

Now, I was reluctant to ask Mother to let me pray for her because (a) I didn’t want her fragile faith to fail if the renal scan showed she needed dialysis, (b) I did not know what I was going to say because I was upset myself, and (c) I did not know how my offer to pray might be received. Mother had been snippy with me earlier—a result of her age (84) and being in the hospital and being poked and prodded for 2 weeks. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that the spiritual atmosphere just didn’t seem conducive to prayer.

Still the compulsion to pray was weighing heavy on me and I had to have relief, so I asked her to pray with me like this: “Mother, I just can’t go to sleep without praying. I have to pray.” To my surprise, she said, “okay”, and I grabbed her hand and just prayed from my heart to my loving Father who always welcomes me. I cannot even tell you what I said, except I remember mentioning His throne of grace and asking that He would heal Mother's kidneys, but whatever happened, we knew we could trust Him because His perfect will is always in our best interest. I wiped the tears from my eyes and my mother said, “Now I’m going to say the prayer I say every night.” And she closed her eyes and prayed silently. And we both went to sleep, only to be awakened at 1 a.m. for her breathing treatment.

The next morning they came and took her for the renal scan. Later that day, the kidney specialist came in the room. He said the renal scan did not show any abnormality regarding her kidneys. Then he looked at me and said, “Remember I mentioned dialysis?” And I nodded and said, “Yes.” He smiled at me and said,” I believe her kidneys will continue to improve.” He then told us he wanted to see her in a few weeks after she left the hospital. And when he left the room, my mother burst out in tears. I called my dad who had come down with the flu the week before and was not allowed in her room, and we both gave God the glory for our great news! We brought Mother home yesterday afternoon.

Psalm 40:1-3

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name!

All hail the power of Jesus' name,
Let angels prostrate fall.
Bring forth the royal diadem,
And crown Him Lord of all!
Bring forth the royal diadem,
And crown Him Lord of all!

(pg. 202, The Baptist Hymnal)

Experiencing a personal victory this morning and had to share my praise to the King. All night long and into this morning I have leaned into this Word of Truth: The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe. This is from Proverbs (18, I think)--not sure of the address in the Word.

"The Word of God is living and active...."(Hebrews 4:12) and when we wield it as our Sword of the Spirit in truth and humility and in the name of Jesus, the enemy must run! It's "sharper than any double-edged sword, and it penetrates, dividing soul and spirit, joint and marrow. It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." If there's an ungodly thought or attitude, it exposes it, penetrating deep, and that thought or attitude is taken out. And peace flows in...Glory to God!

Remembering

It just occurred to me afresh this afternoon that I survived panic. May I never forget that fact because being diagnosed with panic disorder turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Although I prayed for 2 years to be free of panic, I will always be grateful for God allowing me to go through it. Because of panic, I began desperately seeking God with my whole heart, and I found Him. Hallelujah! I didn’t find religion, I didn’t find tradition—I found Him! Wonderful! Counselor! The Mighty God! The Everlasting Father! The Prince of Peace! Through prayer and indepth Bible study, He allowed me to grasp some understanding of His Person. He allowed me to sense His Presence in my life. By meditating on verses that spoke to my heart, I began feeding my spirit “good” food instead of the refuse I normally dined on—the world-view of life and how I couldn’t do enough, or be enough, or please enough people.

I will never forget the first time I was looking out the window and singing a song of praise to God when I realized I was smiling—after coming out of the depths of depression, I was actually smiling. I will never forget the days I spent in a state of joy—which was unheard of for me. My dominant personality trait is melancholy. When my husband first dated me he asked me several times why I didn’t smile more. I hadn’t a clue. Now I know it was because all day and all night I obsessed over every mistake I ever made or over every wrong that had been done to me. I relived my past over and over from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. If I wasn’t thinking about what I should’ve or shouldn’t of done, I was thinking about what I needed to do. If I wasn’t worried about myself, I was worried about someone close to me.

How marvelous, how wonderful to finally be able to hand all my problems and concerns over to my Father in heaven. To focus my inner self on my God and my Saviour. To think about good things for a change. Things like love and forgiveness and heaven and power for living and the beauty and majesty of God’s Word.

And the blessings from being in God’s Word and in prayer! The peace that I’d heard so much about all my Christian life, but had never personally experienced. The unconditional love. The companionship of Jesus. Jesus in me. (Me! The screw-up. The scaredy-cat. The klutz. The prude.) It is still amazing to me—more than that, it’s mind-blowing--that the God of wonders, the compassionate and loving God who created the heavens above and the earth below, the eternal Father, the Savior of the world would want to take the time to reassure me. To erase my deepest insecurities with His love.

God knows our hearts. He knows the sorrows that are there. He knows the abuses and heartaches we’ve experienced. I had invited Him to come into my heart—to heal my hurts—to fill all the empty places. And He came. He came and He took over. He directs me through His Word, through His godly impressions on my heart and mind, through my circumstances, and through other people. I’ve learned that my ability to perceive His direction and presence is directly affected by my obedience to His Word. I must love God with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul, and all my strength, and I must love my neighbor as myself. I must keep my daily quiet time with Him. I must keep seeking His face and His perfect will for my life. That means putting down my own agenda, killing the selfish, fleshly desires in me and following Him daily. It isn’t easy. I still have the same human tendancies I had before to wander—to go my own way and do my own thing. To believe that I know what is best. However, looking back over my depression and panic days, there is no doubt in my mind that the rewards of staying in God’s perfect will for my life far outweigh any sacrifices I have to make. I am a panic survivor, and my Rock, my Champion is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 3:1

Intimacy with God

Job 42:5 "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."

You can have faith in God and still not have an intimate knowledge of Him. That was me for many, many years. When I finally surrendered my life--panic attacks and all--to Jesus, and then began experiencing some real peace as I studied His Word, I wanted to get to know Him more. That's when I began seeking how to get closer. Beth Moore had said in the Breaking Free Bible study that during quiet time, after reading the selected passage a few times, we should pray that passage back to God. I began experiencing a wonderful closeness when I did that. Also, I began stopping in the middle of my day to just kneel or sit and wait quietly, just in case He had something He wanted to reveal to me. It was during those moments that I began sensing His Presence. And it was during those moments He gently brought up things that I needed to face and deal with--according to His Word. I truly felt like His child, and my love and desire to be with Him grew stronger.

I've often thanked God for those times--times when I was too weak to have a full schedule and needed breaks, so that I could experience Him in a way I never had before. Because I'm healthier I'm able to do more around my home, at my parents', and at church--which is as it should be...but I get busy and don't remember to take a break. I pretty much have a one-track mind. I'm praying this year that God will remind me to stop and to sit and center all my attention on Him--even if it's only 5 minutes every few hours--so my intimate knowledge of Him will grow stronger. I need that. I miss that. It's how I know that I know that He is God and that I belong to Him.

Stepping Into Sunshine

Sunday morning was the first time since I broke out with shingles that I was able to attend Sunday School and church. I received such a warm welcome, it was like stepping into sunshine. How I love to see my friends in the Lord--to have a place where I can talk about problems and concerns with friends who uplift, encourage, and support me with their love and hope and belief in Christ. I couldn't believe it'd been a month and a half since I'd attended. When I opened my mouth in the choir loft to sing God's praises, I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. I was suddenly filled with such joy--I can't describe it. I recalled two of my favorite verses: "The Lord set my feet upon a Rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

I'm still here! I'm still standing on a firm place--my Rock. The past several months have brought pain, mental anguish, and anxiety, but I'm still still clinging to my God and watching Him work all things out for my good--and the good of my family.

"Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me bless His Holy Name. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits; Who forgives all your sins, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion;Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles!!!!!!!! (Ps. 103)